Friday, May 4, 2012

moving on moving forward

I have been gone a while but i think I needed a little time to grow up.  On my 21st birthday I got pregnant with my son and kept it a secret until he was almost due.  I was a wild child who needed time to think about where I wanted my life to go.  I made a ton of mistakes and even more good choices. I'm so happy I had him he truly changed my outlook on life. Then last year I got pregnant with my daughter who is now 3 months old somewhere around today, and just when I thought I couldn't change anymore...  The strangest thing happened..I'm happy I'm free from my own mind. She has made me open my eyes and stop being made at the world. I used to want the people who hurt me to be accountable for their actions but what good is chasing revenge? I see now with my handsome little boy and my darling little girl that none of those people can hurt me because I already have the best things in life..Family!!
Family is all I ever really wanted in life and if I would have opened my eyes I would have seen them there all along. I would have seen how much they all love me, but I chose to be blind to all of it. But it is never to late and so every chance i get I tell them I love them and hug them. I'm so happy!!!
When I moved here I was angry that I was so far from home, but what is home you know blah blah what the heart is. Now I find myself moving from TN to Hawaii in a few months and I'm so excited.  Not just because I get to be done with this unpredictable weather but because I get to start new fresh try again and be more open minded this time I can't wait to see Frankie in the water again and Delilah with her toes in the sand for the first time. I'm one lucky mama.. okay now that both of these kids pooped themselves..I guess that's my que to cut this short.

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