I've spent the past four years of my life being a "fat girl".I guess I woke up one day and said I had enough. Well I wouldn't go as far as to say "one day" per say, but many humiliating days. One day that stands out is the day I wore chucks instead of flats, and I had to bend down to retie them.. I remember having to put my leg up on my knee after a failed attempt to reach my feet without being out of breath from my pants smashing me. It was awful and I knew everyone saw.
Not to long before that I met a girl that was a beach body coach. She was thin and beautiful and I remember thinking," what does this girl know about fitness struggles". It wasn't like me to talk to thin girls about my weight, but for some reason this girl stood out to me. I sent her a message on fb and poured me clogged heart out. I didn't know what I expected to hear back, but I knew I needed help, and I was willing to try anything.
She Messaged me back and told me about a fitness challenge she was hosting. I was excited, but I think I had no idea how out of shape and unprepared I was. The challenge group started, and I had no idea what I was doing. I had never learned to ask questions or ask for help and I stood idly by. She would check on me and sometimes, and I'd lie and say I was fine when I was falling apart, but she never gave up on me. Sometimes an entire week would go by and I wouldn't workout at all. I was one of those people who would say oh ill start again next monday, and that turned into I'll start again next month because I messed this one all up.
I had my friend take an after picture of me. I was going to post it on the page only to humiliate myself or maybe shame myself into trying harder next time. I figured everyone seeing how lazy I was would jump start me into trying harder. this was the before and after I posted to my challenge group. When I saw it my jaw dropped and I was in complete disbelief. I couldn't believe how much results I got with such little effort. Still when I look at this picture I tear up a little. When I saw this picture I had some sort of epiphany. I thought geese what would I look like if I would have REALLY tried in that 60 days?!? I asked her if I could join her next challenge group and she said, "yes".
I was asked again to write my goals out and I set them so low, because a part of me thought I would quit. I started the challenge at about 220lbs.( the heaviest I had ever been) I now weigh about 205lbs. My one week goal was to not quit, and I didn't even slow down!
I saw my friend(pictured here) I thought oh we are about the same size!!! What? I swear I was NOT high haha.The after picture was just goofing around at the park. I weigh about the same in both pictures, but the difference is my health and fitness level.( and of course body fat) I did a professional body fat analysis and i had...wait for it....36% body fat(obese) I'm 5"5" and I was 220lbs. I knew I had to change and not look back.
I tried crossfit(before my beachbody challenge) and became obsessed. I loved it so much, but at about $200 a month it was killing us financially and it was almost impossible with two very young children, and with my husband being in the military his fitness became more important then mine. I had to quit so he could get into better shape. Thats when I reached out to M******. She helped save my life. I'm still in a challenge group. Still going strong, and still not giving up. I'm doing ChaLEAN extreme, T25, and walking 3 miles(at least) 4-7 days a week.
This was me before all this "fat" nonsense came about. I struggled with anorexia for most of my life, but I didn't care..I would say,"I rather die skinny then live fat". It was an awful existence, and after a while I forgot what hunger even felt like.I still do unintentionally struggle, but when I feel like I "can't" eat I have a shakeology it has helped me so much. I'm not sure I ever even want to be that skinny girl again. I want to be the best most fit girl I can be. I have no clue what is at the end of this road, but I'm having one hell of a fun journey on the way.
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